Mixed Remixed Festival

Multiracial Americans Gather to Tell Their Stories To Create Spaces for Healing & Activism

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Multiracial Americans Gather to Tell Their Stories To Create Spaces for Healing & Activism

By Michele Beller

multiracial americansOne of the most dynamic workshops of my day at the 2016 Mixed Remixed Festival this year was the Storytelling: Art and Activism Unite workshop with Amity Paye and Rachel Ibrahim, MSW. “Storytelling is a powerful, historical, cultural practice that has the ability to create social change,” they pointed out, and “as mixed race people, we have many stories to tell.”  Amity, who works in communications at a labor union and has written extensively for various publications including The Nation, NBC, and The Root, and Rachel, a community organizer, trainer and artist, are a dynamic duo. Together they organize and facilitate conversations such as this across the U.S., through many venues.

Our #mixedrace #multiracial stories can build accountability, interrupt oppression, address anti-blackness, create spaces 4 healing

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This day, we would be working not just on sharing our multiracial stories but on sharing them in a way that would build accountability, interrupt oppression, address anti-blackness, and, importantly, creating spaces for healing. In doing this, we would help lift up strategies to strengthen communities and promote social justice and racial equity, the pair explained. As they discussed the packed agenda for the next hour, attendees in the large group looked eager to get started.

Coming Together to Share as a Mixed Community

The first order of business was a Community Agreement to help build a team/community, and after all agreed, the doors would be shut and we’d be ready to dig in. The contents of the Agreement are worth noting, and something good to remember for future.

First on the Agreement: “Listen with respect.” Here, Rachael paused to give us a fun puzzle to solve: “What else does listen spell when the letters are rearranged?” she asked. (I got this! I got this! NPR’s Puzzlemaster Will Shortz would be proud!) Answer: Silent! What a good reminder of how to listen—silence your inner dialogue as you listen to others.

Number two on the list was “No hierarchy of oppression” (whose oppression is worse that another’s? Answer: Not applicable—who is to judge?).

Third on the Agreement was “Participate” (move up or move back, depending on your habit of jumping in or sitting back.) Here, Rachael asked for a show of hands: first, those who are quick to jump in and comment or participate. Second, those who would prefer to sit back and observe rather than participate were asked to raise their hands. As the second group identified themselves, Rachael grinned and quipped, “Wonderful; we’ll call on you first.” The entire room broke out in laughter. She was kidding, of course, but you get an idea of what dynamic workshop leaders these two are and how skilled they are at putting everyone at ease.

multiracial americansNext on the list was: “The focus today stays on racism in the U.S.–this mostly to narrow it down a bit accounting for the short time we had for the workshop. There are so many isms and so many issues, it can be overwhelming. And this point is a perfect segue way to the next item on the list: “Recognition that there is no ‘quick fix.’” (Whew! Pressure’s off! We wouldn’t have to solve all the country’s problems in this coming hour!).

Another important item was “Intention/Impact.” Here, the idea is that we all agree we are gathered for the workshop with good intentions, to not cause harm or say something offensive to someone else, and yet sometimes we do that anyway. Lastly, we agreed to keep this workshop for sharing our story and not someone else’s.

Once we all agreed, the door was closed and attendees pulled their chairs in closer, ready to roll up their sleeves. It was at this moment that one witty person remarked, “Oh, so this won’t be a craft workshop?” Again, laughter ensued and it was clear that the group was highly engaged and excited to start.

The Wonderful Thing About Mixed Race and Multiracial Americans’ Stories

After breaking into a rotation of small groups and meeting/greeting each other with brief introductions for about five minutes, we gathered back together as a whole group and introduced ourselves to the group, with a few of us sharing more about our stories—who we were. One of the things that struck me and made me tingle with joy is how wonderfully beautiful, fascinating, and diverse “mixed race” can be— multiracial, hapa, biracial, blasian, mixed race adoption, and so much more! And these labels can’t come close to revealing each unique story. What a handsome group of people, I thought at that moment. I’m so glad I’m here.

“We use storytelling as a way of finding, ‘Who are my people?’” #mixedremixed #multiracial

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Rachael discussed the multiple ways we can tell our stories: written, oral tradition, music, and art, for example. One of her comments really struck me: “We use storytelling as a way of finding, ‘Who are my people?’” she said. I know that feeling all too well! We all were nodding our heads in recognition as she told her own unique story of who she was and of trying to figure out who her people were.

Mingle Huddle, Mixed Race Style

Our next activity sounds fun even just by its name: Mingle Huddle! Here, we once again broke into smaller groups, in two alternating parts; first, we were instructed to mingle around the room like we were at a cocktail party. To facilitate the “mingle” mood, the pair played upbeat music, and the room literally buzzed. In the middle of our mingling, they would call out, “Five!” at which we then went into “huddle” mode, where we huddled in groups of five for structured storytelling based on a prompt.

Amity and Rachael gave us a total of four prompts to work from, each one timed (three minutes!), and they were delicious prompts: First: Where is home/Who are your people/Where are your people from? You can just imagine the fascinating stories that came out of that prompt!

The second prompt was: What is an aspect of your culture that is sustaining to you? (For me, the tradition of the Caribbean rice and peas dish and fried plantains every Christmas, imported from my West Indian grandfather’s family—mandatory!). The third prompt was: What are ways you have addresses/interacted with racism in your life? How are these different/unique because of your mixed heritage? (You can just imagine the stories that came out of that one!) Our final prompt was perfect for coming to a close: How can our stories unlock opportunities for healing and change?

multiracial americansWe wound down the workshop with the sharing of our findings and insights from the mingle huddle activity. Rachael noted that being able to share stories is important first because of its ability to build the sense of community from which we can work, and is actually a form of activism itself: the act of holding space for people and allowing for the complexity of their stories without having to interject or tell them how their story is similar/dissimilar to ours.

We can’t organize against racism, Rachael pointed out, if we are not in relationship to each other, which is why knowing how to listen and create safe spaces for each other is crucial. We closed on a reflection of how our stories shared today can affect communities and offer opportunities of healing. By the time the group was filing out of the room, budding friendships had been forged and a strong sense of community hung thick in the air. It never fails, Amity said, that through creating this space and sharing stories, people connect in amazing ways, sort of that “Oh my god—I can’t believe I found you!” moment. And I concur—I can’t believe I found this workshop.

Note: If you’d love to learn more about their amazing work, while Amity and Rachael do not presently have websites, any requests for consultation or training can be sent to Rachael at assist.rachaelibrahim@gmail.com

~Michele Beller, Festival Blogger, https://randomaunt.wordpress.com/

Our Mixed Voices: Sharing Our Stories An Interactive Workshop at Mixed Remixed

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Multiracial People and Families Gather to Share Their Stories

By Michele Beller

“Everybody has a story,” began Zachary Green, a professor of Leadership Practice at the University of Maryland and one of the workshop leaders for the first workshop of my day. “But sometimes, that story never gets heard,” Dr. Green continued. This intro was to be the beginning of a rich and delicious day packed with workshops and panels and community and conversation in my day of Mixed Remixed Festival 2016 bliss.

Everybody has a story but sometimes, that story never gets heard. #multiracial

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zachary _MG_5150As Zachary explained what we were about to embark upon, the room continued to fill with more and more beautiful multiracial faces, all ages and all shades of the mixed race rainbow; the influx didn’t stop until people were sitting, standing, propped against the back wall, filling every available space of the room. This is going to be a popular workshop, I thought to myself. The energy was palpable. I leaned forward in anticipation. “The purpose of this workshop is twofold,” Zachary continued. “One of it is to introduce you to a form of dialogue called the Dialogue Circle; the second part is jazz improvisation.” I didn’t know exactly where we would be going in the next hour or so, but I knew it would be good.

Dialogue Circles Help Us Learn How to Share Multiracial and Mixed Race Stories

“The quintessence of this workshop is that it will be experiential,” said Angelo Lewis, our second of three workshop leaders. He made it clear that they as workshop leaders were not here to tell us what to do or what to think. “We will invite you to tell your story,” he finished. Angelo, author, life coach, and co-founder of the Diversity and Spirituality Network, is also the creator of the Dialogue Circle technique. (More on Angelo Lewis here http://www.angelojohnlewis.com/about/ and Dialogue Circle uses here: http://www.dialogue-circles.com/.)

workshop 2_MG_5159In describing the value of the Dialogue Circle, Angelo explained a scenario to which many of us could relate: a group of people come to a meeting—maybe two different departments; everyone has their own agenda. In the course of the meeting, they hash it out; often in this scenario, somebody wins and somebody loses. Dialogue is a method for short circuiting that process. The idea of Dialogue Circles is that exchanging stories builds common ground—and everybody wins.

Exchanging stories builds common ground & everybody wins. #multiracial

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Cindy Franklin, the third member of our workshop team, is an executive coach and co-founder of the Diversity and Spirituality Network; she then discussed the idea that we all have identities—often more than one, and some of them hidden. Many heads were nodding in agreement as she spoke. By sharing parts of ourselves together, she said, we can learn what others expect from us based on what they see or understand, and honor our humanity as a group.

The Idea of “Mixed Race” or “Multiracial” Is Not Just One Thing, Idea or Experience

Woohoo! We are psyched about our 2016 Festival T-Shirts. Have you picked yours up yet? #multiracial #mixedrace
Woohoo! We are psyched about our 2016 Festival T-Shirts. Have you picked yours up yet? #multiracial #mixedrace

After the introductions by our fearless leaders, we were then encouraged to go around the room and introduce ourselves with the following opener: “When I think of my identity, I think of myself as….”  What followed became a rich tapestry of multiracial voices and experiences; I felt privileged to bear witness. The voices that emerged weaved an embroidery of uniqueness and yet felt familiar at the same time. As people shared their stories, I felt warmly embraced by the inclusion of every combination of race, culture and ethnicity you could think of—plus a few you hadn’t. It was a reminder that the idea of “mixed race” or “multiracial” is not just one thing or idea or experience. I never felt more proud to be part of this community called mixed race. One participant summed it up brilliantly when she began her intro, “I feel lucky to be Mixed.” Amen, hooray, and brava!

I feel lucky to be Mixed! #multiracial #mixedrace

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One nice detail of the workshop was the reminder to breathe, to slow down, and to listen, as we shared in turn and as we considered each other’s’ stories. As a reminder and point of focus, periodically Zachary asked us to spend a moment being silent and focusing on our breath; he rang a Tibetan singing bowl, the pure and lyrical sounds of which had a calming and even meditative effect on the group.

As we delved deeper into the Dialogue Circle process and prepared to reveal even more of ourselves in the process of our dialogues, Zachary directed us to a flip chart with Dialogue Guidelines for us to follow: Speak from experience; Suspend assumptions; Listen as colleagues; Defer clarification; and Focus on learning.

Our last discussion question was a great one: describe a time, Angelo prompted, when you experienced a conflict between your public identity and your less visible hidden identity (or identities). The stories that were shared as we went around the room answering this query were sometimes deeply personal, often very poignant, and at times just plain funny; the sense of community in the group became even stronger.

To wind the workshop down, the group was asked to take another breath (enter Tibetan singing bowl) and consider the sharing that just took place, then call out one or two words that came to us; many words were offered, such as community; validation; belonging; and more. Finally, by way of closing, Zachary asked us to again call out and answer the ultimate question: “What are you going to do with this experience as you continue on from here?”

~Michele Beller, Festival Blogger, https://randomaunt.wordpress.com/

 

Naming the Monsters: Christina Guillen on Teaching Microaggression Zine Workshop

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We asked Christina Guillen who led the Microaggression Zine Workshop at the Mixed Remixed Festival about her experience.  The workshop was a hands-down hit.  We are looking at the possibility of doing this workshop again during the year so that more of our Festival followers can experience this.  Plus I want to do the workshop too!-Heidi Durrow, Festival Founder

“Festival attendees filled the room.  I introduced my background as Mexican and white and gave a definition of microaggression.  I explained my story of first encountering the term.  I shared my anger and the diffusion of pain upon hearing the word.  I proposed to our group we give our microaggressions a shape, smell, or feeling.  I demonstrated releasing a rough styrofoam ball on the table.  The ball bounced and rolled away.  I explained once we can see our microaggression outside of ourselves we can disidentify and observe it.  This gives our power back.

christina workshop 3_MG_6639I asked them to offer their own microaggressions.  They spoke up shyly at first, but eventually there were enough responses to see an array of reactions.  Some spoke with humor others let their anger and frustration be heard.  It got pretty intense but I was prepared.  I let them know it was a safe place, we’re in the same boat.  We have a right to feel however we feel.  I think the validating was really needed.  Even though I’d said I was not the microaggression expert but more of a conversation facilitator, people still looked to me for validation of their feelings, to ask whether their experience was a valid microaggression.  Some got tangled up with terms so we talked about what underlies the term microaggression.  Our honest feelings underneath it all are telling us something doesn’t feel right.  We want to name it because we want to disidentify from it.  We went back to the beginning—give the feeling a shape and disidentify.

I passed around a bucket of shapes (screws, sandpaper, scissors, a zipper, a crab’s pinchers, a snarling chihuahua, etc).  Each person kept one to represent their feeling as they filled out a worksheet about microaggressions.  Later, I showed how to fold a single sheet into a small book.  Afterward, the group transferred their ideas from the worksheet onto the zine book.  They created with markers, stencils, and drawings.  The result was a zine that physically showed their experience outside of themselves.  Titles ranged from “You don’t like beans?” to “Don’t touch my hair!” to “Zen in the face of microaggression.”

christina workshop 4_MG_6628The actual creative process allowed us to keep the conversation going while our hands were occupied.  We talked about that many minorities transcend their experiences by doing creative projects.  Myself and another woman wrote a novel, another sings, and all of us made a zine.  We talked about seeing the positive angle of microaggressions, we found ways it was making all of us better more loving people.

At the end I suggested leaving their zine in their car as a communication tool.  Several said they’d like to do so.  I was overjoyed with the smiles, hugs, gratitude, and relief I felt in the room.  It was an amazing feeling to validate and empower so many people!  I think I’m still glowing.”-Christina Guillen

Christina Guillén is a diversity speaker, teacher, writer and the creator of Half Moon Jefa, the Mixed People’s Superhero.  Her historical fiction novel and M.F.A. in Creative Writing focus on identity, feminism, and indigineity vs. colonialism.  Christina will lead an exciting hands-on zine workshop to flirt with our perspectives on the topic of microaggressions.  Find out what trucos she’s up to at halfmoonjefa.tumblr.com.

Microaggression Zines for the Multiracial Soul

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Microaggression Zines for the Multiracial Soul

multiracial, mixed race, biracial, mixedWhen I walked into the Yuki Family Board Room of the Japanese American National Museum at the 2016 Mixed Remixed Festival where the Microaggression Zine Workshop was being held, I’ll admit that I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

The description in the Mixed Remixed Festival Program sounded inviting: “Naming and understanding the little monsters [microaggressions] can bring back an immense sense of personal peace and power.” I was intrigued. Personal peace and power? Sign me up. The workshop was led by Christina Guillén, a diversity speaker, teacher, and writer. You can see a picture of the poster she created for our workshop and learn more about her at . This will give you a hint of the fun she had in store for us workshop attendees. (Christina is also writing a fascinating historical fiction novel set in sixteenth century Mexico, focused on identity and indigeneity vs. colonialism—you can follow along with her prequel, a series of online letters written back and forth by the novel’s characters at https://www.wattpad.com/user/The_Letters.)

Naming the little monsters microaggressions can bring back an immense sense of personal peace and power. @halfmoonjefa #multiracial

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Microaggression and the Mixed Race Experience

Are you wondering what a microaggression is, exactly? A lot of us were. This was the first thing Christina addressed when the workshop began. She offered a definition and then went around the room and asked each of us to add to christina poster_MG_6618the conversation by offering our understanding. The room was buzzing with talk and discussion; Christina is a delightful workshop leader and made all of us feel warmly accepted and eager to learn more. The term “microaggression” has been around for a while; Random House dictionary describes it this way: “a subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other nondominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype: microaggressions such as ‘I don’t see you as black.’” For mixed race people like me, a familiar one is that pesky question, “What are you?” or “Where are you from—no, originally, where are you from?” All of the workshoppers were excited at the notion that we could use these zines to, as Christina suggested, “flirt with our perspectives on the topic of microaggressions.”

 

christina workshop 2_MG_6601Another great conversation the group had was the sharing of how we each tend to react or handle microaggressions when we are on the receiving end. As we went around the room, the reactions people described ran the gamut, from angry to confused to embarrassed to shamed. One workshopper had a great approach: humor. He explained that his approach was to play right along with the offender, replying and continuing the conversation in a manner that increasingly showed the absurdity of the comment or act, until the person realized his/her folly and the tables had turned. Note to self, I jotted on my notepad. Must try.

 

 

What’s a Zine?

christina workshop_MG_6637

Once the group felt clearer about microaggressions, we were ready to dig in to the zines. At the beginning of the workshop, Christina had given each of us some samples of zines she had created—they are, simply, handmade mini-magazines. She handed out outlines with prompts that we would answer out as we fleshed our zines. Then she passed around a plastic container full of odd and eccentric items that we could go through and pick out, with the idea that this was added inspiration, visual, tactile, and most definitely creative! Some of the items included, for example, sandpaper, big floppy silk flowers, a rock, a small ceramic mask, and a little hammer. I chose the little hammer—don’t ask!

Once we got to work, Christina turned on some background music to help feed our creativity, wonderful Afro-Latin jazz type music that had me groovin’ and the whole room buzzing. Christina had promised we would “light up with creative excitement” as we processed confusing experiences that made us feel funny or awkward, and I’ll confirm: that boardroom was ablaze with energy! As we worked, a great scene of laughter, sharing, and sheer genius ensued. Once we had our outlines done and our tools laid out in front of us, Christina taught us how to take a plain 8 ½ by 11 sheet of paper and fold it until it turned into a mini book, sort of origami-style. We were rolling now! Meanwhile, Christina had spread a mini-toy-store of creative grown-ups’ utensils across the table —colored pens and pencils, crazy, fun stencils (like bats and ghosts) and more (I chose a dinosaur for my stencil).

Ready for Publication!

Growing up biracial with two parents who firmly believed and taught me that “race” is a social construct, I had no idea when I got older and went out in the world how to manage the microaggressions that were directed at me. Christina offered a wonderful, empowerizine photosng, therapeutic strategy for managing these inevitabilities of multiracial life. As our time together neared its end, the group, now feeling extremely comfortable and collegial, went around and shared what they had created. No one wanted to leave. Christina had promised us that we would “leave with a new positive experience to associate with microaggressions, and a hands-on tool to help us better understand how conscious and unconscious behaviors like microaggressions affect us Earthlings.” She didn’t disappoint.-Michele Beller, Festival Blogger

This is one story in a series about the programs held at the Mixed Remixed Festival 2016.  Please read through them all by searching our blog with “2016 Festival Re-Cap.”

Loving Day petition, Mixed Remixed and the whole story on NBC News!

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loving_day_petition_white_house_2016_01_squareWe were so excited to see this awesome story by NBC News about Ken Tanabe’s efforts to get Loving Day recognized as a federal holiday as well as featuring Loving Day celebrations across the country including the Mixed Remixed Festival!lovingdaylogo

We hope that you will take five seconds and sign the petition so that President Obama will address the question.  This is the time!  We need you to sign your names by June 30!  Hurry.  Sign here.

SIGN THE PETITION NOW

 

 

NBC_News_logo‘Loving Day’ Petition Launched in Hope of Broader Recognition

by SYLVIA CUNNINGHAM

When Heidi Durrow gets sent articles from the Google Alert she set up for “mixed race families,” it’s usually not very good news.

Durrow, author of the New York Times best-seller “The Girl Who Fell From the Sky,” said oftentimes she’ll see lists of “all the things multiracial people don’t want to hear,” or backlash towards companies like Old Navy for featuring an interracial family in an advertisement.

“I think it would be great to have a national spotlight on the ways in which we’re all connected and give us an opportunity to celebrate that for a moment as opposed to just talking about it when it becomes a flashpoint for hatred or anger or violence,” Durrow said.

Ken Tanabe, who founded Loving Day in commemoration of the landmark Supreme Court case which struck down laws banning interracial marriage, is one person fighting alongside Durrow to make that wish a reality.

At the end of May, Tanabe launched a petition to make Loving Day, celebrated annually on June 12 in honor of the decision date of Loving v. Virginia, a federal observance. The petition requires Tanabe to get 100,000 signatures by June 30 to receive a response from the White House. The designation of Loving Day as a federal observance can come from either Congress or from the president.  READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE HERE!

 

Mixed Remixed Festival and Stories of Multiracial Americans on KTLA

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Enjoy family fun, craft activities, storytelling and face painting. FREE at @jamuseum #mixedremixed #multiracial
Enjoy family fun, craft activities, storytelling and face painting. FREE at @jamuseum #mixedremixed #multiracial

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We were so excited to get this shout out from KTLA’s Gayle on the Go for the second year in a row.  Thanks  for helping us spread the word!

Hundreds Gather in Downtown LA to Celebrate Stories of Mixed-Race and Multiracial People & Families

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multiracial, mixed race, hapa, growing up mixed race, growing up biracial, mixed festival
We were so excited to see this story about the Mixed Remixed Festival that appeared in the LA Times last weekend, June 12, 2016. Reporter Anh Do perfectly captured the meaning, the vibe and the experience of the Festival. Please check it out!-Heidi Durrow, Festival Founder

Their eyes shimmered with tears when embracing the “others.” via @newsterrier #multiracial

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Latimes-logoHundreds head to downtown L.A. for nation’s largest gathering for multiracial people

by Anh Do

Their eyes shimmered with tears when embracing the “others.”

But this gathering — the nation’s largest for multiracial people held Friday and Saturday in downtown’s Little Tokyo — would not be graced with sadness.

“We’re here to celebrate. You look around you, you see not only your identity, but countless identities,” said founder Heidi Durrow of the Mixed Remixed Festival, in its third year, drawing nearly 1,000 participants.

“When someone meets someone like us, they always say, ‘What are you?’ ” Durrow said. “Based on our faces, they form expectations. That’s why we invite them to move beyond images to hear our stories — then let’s share everyone’s stories.”  . . . Click to read the rest in the LA Times.

Loving Day Reception to Celebrate Multiracial Americans and Mixed-Race Families

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We’ve got the largest West Coast celebration of Loving Day going on and we hope that you’ll join us!

lovingdaylogoCelebrate Loving Day at our Loving Day Reception Saturday June 11 starting at 5:30pm.  It’s FREE!  A wine and cheese reception kicks off the night (yes, the wine, beer and cheese are FREE too!) at TIME ADDED mxdrmxd - web ad - 2016 - LIVE EVENT - jpeg5:30pm.  The Storyteller’s Prize Presentation and Live Show starts at 6:30pm and wow what a show it is!  Check out the line up here.

Largest West Coast Loving Day Celebration 6/11 @jamuseum #multiracial #mixedremixed

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Film/TV Star Taye Diggs and Shane Evans To Be Honored for Mixed Me!

We’re honoring Taye Diggs and Shane Evans for their awesome book Mixed Me! And yes, the show is FREE too!

 

The Festival is getting so close! Wanting more details about this year's presentations and activities? Head over to our site (link in bio) for more information! #multiracial #mixedrace
The Festival is getting so close! Wanting more details about this year’s presentations and activities? Head over to our site (link in bio) for more information! #multiracial #mixedrace

Immediately following the show, we will have a short dessert reception and our Storyteller’s Prize Honorees Taye Diggs and Shane Evans will sign copies of their book Mixed Me!  Our wonderful bookseller Skylight Books will be on hand to sell copies!

Meet @tayediggs at the largest west coast celebration of #lovingday #mixedremixed #multiracial

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HAVE YOU SIGNED THE PETITION TO MAKE LOVING DAY A FEDERAL OBSERVANCE?

And one more thing: Have you taken 5 seconds to sign the petition to make Loving Day a federal observance?  If not do it now! Sign here!

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Key & Peele LOVE the Mixed Remixed Festival, the largest gathering of multiracial and mixed-race people and families

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mixed, mixed race, multiracial, biracial, key & peele, keegan-michael key, jordan peele, heidi durrow, hapa, mixed festival, loving dayWe’re huge fans of Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele.  And they’re huge fans of us because we are the largest nationwide gathering of mixed-race and multiracial people and families!  Check out this quick video!  And make sure you share it with your friends and family!  See you this week June 10-11, 2016. Don’t forget to register!-Heidi Durrow, Festival Founder

REGISTER HERE!
The ever-awesome @keeganmkey and @jordanpeele shout out the best #multiracial #mixedrace festival!

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[youtube]https://youtu.be/lkeRh2ZpZ6E[/youtube]

 

The Mixed Remixed Festival Altered the Course of My Life: A Mixed-Race Writer’s Story

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shannon blog photo 2Just over two years ago, I received an email from Mixed Remixed founder Heidi Durrow, stating I’d been selected as a featured writer for that year’s festival. Heidi had no idea that her choice would come to transform my entire life.

I knew I wanted to be part of the Festival as far back as 2008, when Heidi ran a festival under a different name. Back then, I was immersed in my grad school program on the East Coast and didn’t have anything creative to show. Instead, I became a chair at the Critical Mixed Race Studies Conference in 2012 and presented my master’s thesis about the “tragic mulatta narrative.” While CMRS was amazing, I kept tabs on Heidi’s work and waited for her to reemerge with a festival project. When she finally started Mixed Remixed, I sent in my submission around midnight on the very last day of open applications.

All throughout grad school, I wrestled with a dual existence. I liked academia, but I couldn’t stop writing a memoir about my relationship with my black father who had died in 2001. My thesis no doubt helped spark this fever, as reading the works of Nella Larsen, Danzy Senna and Heidi herself made me desperate to share my own mixed race story.

In fact, Heidi helped fuel my desire to fuse my two worlds of literature and race even before I knew who she was. In the pages of the canonical book Black, White, Other, Heidi and others shared their experiences about being mixed race. The book came out in 1994 and I read it like the Bible, desperate then find race mirrors in my every day life.

When I received my acceptance from Heidi, I was at the end of a yearlong relationship, was teaching at an after school program, and had just been accepted to an intensive teaching credential program at San Jose State. Every time I stepped onto the SJSU campus, I felt overwhelmed by dread, and every time I told my students at the after school program to follow their dreams, I felt like a hypocrite. I had known I wanted to become a full-fledged writer since I was seven years old.

As fate would have it, or perhaps just good luck, my then boyfriend broke up with me and left me in a pile of tears. Once I wiped them away, I got back to work on my memoir and found letters from my father from 2000 and 2001, advising me to pursue an untraditional career path in the Arts. I practiced my reading for the festival on my coworkers at the after school program, and the look of wonder in their eyes was one I’d never seen before. The day before the festival, I stopped by my ex-boyfriend’s apartment to drop off his things, and then continued down 101 with a resolve to put my career before any relationship goals.

I fell in love with Mixed Remixed, and I fell in love with L.A. #multiracial #mixedrace

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I fell in love with Mixed Remixed, and I fell in love with L.A. The reactions from the audience at our little reading (Mixed Remixed has big readings now) made me feel like my story was their story. Audience members came up to me after the reading, and I got validation not only as a writer, but as a mixed race writer as well. For the first time in my life, I knew my story had merit, not just to those looking in from the outside, but also to those who share the same mixed up DNA as myself. And theirs was the validation I needed.

I got validation not only as a writer, but as a mixed-race writer as well. #mixedrace #multiracial

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By fall, I had transferred to one of the after school program’s L.A. County branches and began crafting my freelance career. By the next fall, I published an article in the online magazine For Harriet, called “What It Means to be Mixed Race During the Fight for Black Lives,” which discusses being mixed race during the increased coverage of police brutality. With this article I experienced the life changing nature of a viral story. I received personal messages, retweets and Facebook shares from mixed race people across the globe. They told me I had been able to put their thoughts into words in a way that finally made sense to them.

I also received an inundation of criticism from black and mixed-race men and women who all tried to define me in different ways. Some claimed I was black, some claimed I was mixed race. Some said I was delusional. Others said I was stuck up. Throughout all this backlash, I was able to keep a level head, largely because I knew I was part of a mixed race community, full of people whose identities had also been questioned and who knew the only way to stay sane is to remain true to your own self-perception.

shannon blog photo 1Mixed Remixed has changed my life in other ways as well. I’ve made friendships, some of which I know will last a lifetime. I’ve networked with other writers, as well as filmmakers and musicians. I’ve found a home at a yearly event that stays with me all year long, and my life in L.A. is made sweeter by the connections I’ve made inside those doors.

After my viral article a mixed race writer named Sarah, whom I hadn’t met before, asked me to write an educators’ guide to accompany the biracial anthology she wrote with a co-author named Bryony. Last year I volunteered at the festival, and this year I’ll be meeting Sarah and Bryony, who are now friends and coming out from Puerto Rico and England, respectively. They’ll be panelists at the event, and we’ll be selling both their anthology and the educators’ guide, the latter of which is about to hit the shelves.

I can’t wait to walk through those doors in June and see what’s in store for this year’s festival. I knew no one my first year, and my second year I knew just a few from the year before. This June I’m excited to reconnect with a growing number of friends and acquaintances, and I look forward to meeting new members of the Mixed Remixed family. Heidi has built a veritable wonderland for mixed race folks, and through her hard work and passion she continues to change lives.

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Shannon Luders-Manuel is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Essence.com, For Harriet, The Establishment and Multiracial Media, among others. Follow her on Twitter @shannon_luders or visit her blog at www.shannonludersmanuel.com.

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